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I feel like this week is such a waste. Classes have been suspended (in my school) since Monday and I’ve had zero productivity since. All I did these past few days was lie down, watch television, watch different series in my laptop, go online,sleep, eat, and nothing else. And for all I know, I’ve lost my “academic momentum”. I don’t know how next week’s gonna be when I’m back in school facing my most-awaited long tests. Don’t even know If I’d be able to properly review/study for those tests again. Right now, I’m really just boooored. Who knew I’d miss being stressed and busy so much? I guess I do miss school too… Ugh. I have mixed feelings. I miss my house when I’m at school but I also miss school when I’m at home. And that is the number one reason why I hate entering school in a place far from home. Ok I’d stop here or else I’d end up ranting about school again….

It’s been so long since I have posted some updates about my life. Well it may be because nothing bizarre has happened in the past three weeks or I’m busy studying.. Yeahhh I think I’m busy studying. And maybe for the upcoming weeks I’d still be busy studying and lazy to blog. Gonna reblog for the mean time… 

Audition rants (again)

Actually gusto ko na magmove on sa nangyari kanina at kalimutan nalang na nagtry ako sa sj =)))) Di ko alam kung maganda ba yung ginawa ko oh ano. Okaaay summary ng nangyari…

Pagpasok ko, nakilala ako ni kuya armand(isa sa judges). “Bianca!” with matching turo. “Bianca Chips Beltran!” ayan -.- naalala nila na student ako ni chips beltran huehuehue. Medyo natawa ko nung kala nung iba kapatid ko si kuya chips wowhaaa grabe naman dagdag pressure pa ata. So anyway, friendly naman sila :)) then pinasayaw na ko. Hapit yung practice ko so medyo hindi ko perfect yung routine :)) Nawala ako sa part na sobrang girly/landi nung steps na super hindi ko forte. Kaya pinafreestyle nila ko. Hay eto na naman freestyle -.- Buti nalang click yung music. (dating sample ni jhong sa showtime) medyo nagawan ko naman ng paraan kaya survive ko ang freestyle na to hehe. Though parang ayoko na umasa na tatanggapin ako heeheee. Idk what to feel. Sana after ko ipost to nakamove on na ko :))) magiging isang malaking blessing at milagro pag nakapasa alo dito haaay. Dapat pala yung exam ko sa phys yung iniisip ko. Lord, u be the judge hihi. I will accept whatever will happen. And im very thankful for this experience. Okaaaayz time to get back to realitu.

Spell kabado? A-K-O
I don’t like this feeling :( Alisin niyo to sakin, Lord. Pleaaaaase

Tuesday Think-day

Lately, I’ve been going through a lot of emotions and have been posting some rambling here on my blog. Today there’s a lot more going through my head so I decided to write/type it again.

I skipped my economics class to have some break since I’m getting sleepy and hungry. This gave me two hours to waste my time here at my dorm. A while ago I scanned through my lecture manual to have a quick review for my exam later but here I am now on tumblr making a text post. It is now that I realize that skipping my class was not a good idea. Being alone in my room makes me go through a lot of thinking.. The problems and dilemmas that I think that I have moved on from seem to be haunting me again. Sometimes I think about how things could have been if the situation was different. This thought led me into the verge of becoming homesick. I’m trying not to feel that way which is why I started blogging this. Being alone isn’t really my thing.. I don’t like it when things are super quiet and all I hear are my thoughts. I know I should be thinking of other things(like my exam) instead of dwelling on thoughts that wouldn’t really help my situation right now. I don’t want to feel that I’ve made mistakes. Huge mistakes. I don’t want to regret anything I’ve done. (right now I’m shocked at where my train of thought has been going) I guess I’m lucky to have a tumblr account where I can vent all these feels and unnecessary thoughts. I’ll end this entry here since the thought of praying suddenly popped in my mind. I know I need to pray to enlighten myself and to be more relaxed. Byeee

"You’re good.. Really good. You have the moves but you think too much."

And so I thought that I’d be able to get over the rejection quickly. But these words will haunt me forever until I get better and better. That experience has made a huge impact on me and I know that my take on things will be very different from now on. I know what I have to work on and I won’t stop ‘til I get to the top! (nuxx)

Leaving is always the hardest part

My classes start in two days and I’m still feeling indifferent about it. I’m not even sure if this is indifference but I sure know that I feel very different (from last year). I can’t really tell if I feel excited or nervous or nothing at all. I do have some feelings for this summer.. it makes me sad that my two-month hibernation from school work and stress is over. This has been by far my busiest and most fun summer vacation ever. And now, coming to its end.. it does makes me sad. It just makes me realize that time does fly really fast when you’re having fun. I just hope that school would level with the fun I felt this summer or if not, it should be more fun. So I guess that’s just what I have to feel- hope. That everything will be alright and that I may be able to handle all the stress and pressure from school. Yes, I should be full of hope that good things may happen in every aspect of my sophomore life (especially in getting that one final subject to complete my units!) And btw, I still can’t believe that I’m in my second year in college..

While other students are already attending school, I, on the other hand is still struggling to have a bearable class schedule. Today until Friday is our scheduled online registration. But instead of a smooth process on choosing subjects and enlisting to different courses, the servers and website are malfunctioning (again). This has also happened in previous semesters and we always result to postponement of the online enlistment. As much as I am trying my best not to complain, my frustration on this is inevitable. Though, I understand that the administrators are also having a difficult time. Hopefully, tomorrow would be a better day for us (including the servers) so everyone can finish what they’re doing and enroll as soon as possible.

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A MONDAY CLASS ESPECIALLY AT 7AM. I CAN’T :( That would mean less family time during weekends. Lord, help me find a better slot for this class. I reaaaaally want to have a class schedule that I know I can adjust to. Hopefully I could still fix this. Or else, I would have to cancel this subject. Haaay. I should have taken this subject this summer. Oh well I don’t have time for regrets.. May the odds be ever in my favor on our online registration on Monday.

Di nga, Mr. MMDA Chairman??

Hashtag medyo OA. Masyado affected sa FICTITIOUS novel ni Dan Brown. Sabi nga ni kuya, ‘ang kitid’ (with matching hands on the head). Sige let’s say pinagtatanggol mo lang ang mga Pilipino. Pero as if papansinin ka ni Dan Brown. Published na yung book eh. Ano pang magagawa natin. Ewan ko ba kung nagpapabida lang ‘to or sincere talaga intentions niya. Mas dadami pa tuloy ang bibili ng book na yun kasi na-curious na. Buti pa si Nancy, di mabilis mapikon kahit linalait na siya hahahaha

Naiinis na ko

I don’t get kung bakit sobra kumontra si mama sa course na gusto kunin ng kapatid ko. Masyado niya minamaliit na hindi daw kaya, na hindi daw siya masipag, na tamad mag-aral yung kapatid ko. Kami ni kuya, siya ang pumili ng course namin. Malalang example na nga ata ako eh. Alam nilang english ang forte ko pero pinilit nila ko sa course na puro chem. Tapos wala pa kong kaalam-alam sa course na yun. Ngayon naman itong kapatid ko pinipilit nila kumuha ng course na hindi naman niya trip. Bakit kasi di nalang nila suportahan? Edi kung di niya talaga kayanin yung course na gusto niya, saka siya magshift dun sa course na gusto ni mama. Nakakainis na kasi eh. Lagi nalang dinidiin na mahihirapan yung kapatid ko bla bla bla. Masyado kasi pinangungunahan eh. Kilala ko yung kapatid ko at alam kong di siya papakinggan ni mama. Pag sumabat naman ako lagi akong susumbatan na may tres akong grade. Leche ang labo. Goodluck sa future ng kapatid ko

Ughhh everything hurts

Shoulder pain from yesterday’s dance class and my lower abdominal muscles ache due to inevitable female cycles. Iyak na lang ako…

Depressing day for me.. Para akong sinampal ng Force LOA na yan. Bakit ka ganyan UP? //////3

Pano kaya ako mag-eenjoy sa bakasyon namin sa Iloilo kung depressed ako? Pano kaya ako maiinspire mag-aral eh depressed ako? Ang hirap naman :( Gusto ko na umuwi para malabas na sa dibdib ko ‘to. Ughhhh. Nakakainis. Nakakaiyak. Lord, tulong :((((